Things I can't get my head around

30 Jan 2008 at 15:36
14 comments

1. Verbs in foreign languages
2. More than the basics of computer programming languages
3. Some of the universe's secrets
4. Is there a God?
5. The West Lothian question
6. Vectors
7. The rules of cricket
8. The rules of rugby
9. The rules of any American sport except for softball
10. Measurements in science e.g. mols per litre
11. Light years
12. Giving people the right change when using foreign currency e.g. Euros and Dollars
13. How to concentrate on just one thing for longer than twenty minutes
14. How can some people not like reggae?

14 comments

Comments

Does this mean you DO know some of the secrets of the universe? Huh? Huh?

The West Lothian question?

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Pog: that would be telling.

Kat: it's got something to do with whether Scottish MPs should be allowed to vote on English issues. But that's as far as I get with it.

Hmf. Spoilsport. You could at least have made one up.

Aha - the West Lothian issue. Bloody silly and unfair situation that is. Oh yus.

Yes, it is, but what I can't get my head around is how you could sort it out. After all, Scottish people don't want the English interfering in their lives any more than they already do. But then I know that the English feel the same. But I don't think the countries should be separate. Then I have a little argument in my head. Then I go and make a cup of tea.

[c’est top]

No.12. This is me. I always end up with a purse full of small change because I simply can't be arsed with using up valuable holiday time/looking like a twonk, trying to get my head around working out the right change in euros or dollars. I always get told off by my bloke for this. Mind you, I always end up with a purse filled with coppers and 5p's here as well.

Yes, I have come to the conclusion that I am just not very good at mental arithmetic.

After some thought I've come up with the following deadly series and carefully considered answers to your problems.

1. Verbs in foreign languages
I have trouble with foreign languages full stop. So I don't worry about the verbs, nouns & the other bits.

2. More than the basics of computer programming languages
I don't worry my pretty little head about it. Someone else does that for me. I just have to be able to use the software they're clever enough to produce.

3. Some of the universe's secrets
If I told you I'd have to kill you.

4. Is there a God?
IMHO No, but YMMV

5. The West Lothian question
It doesn't really matter. All politicians are self serving bastards. Who cares which of them vote on a subject or what the outcome is. We have to deal with the it either way.

6. Vectors
Do you mean Vectors that transmit disease, or physics vectors?

7. The rules of cricket
Who cares. It's an excuse sport.*

8. The rules of rugby
Does it matter? A friend of mine claims to be a Rugby fan. I think she's a fan of fit burly blokes running up and down a field. She doesn't need to know the rules to enjoy Rugby.

9. The rules of any American sport except for softball
Who cares. I don't think the Americans even care.

10. Measurements in science e.g. mols per litre
What do you need to know for, unless you're synthesising my favourite recreational pharmaceuticals. Or a life saving drug. Then get it right please.

11. Light years
They're big.
Very big.
Really really big.

12. Giving people the right change when using foreign currency e.g. Euros and Dollars
Hint: Look at the numbers on the coins/notes.

13. How to concentrate on just one thing for longer than twenty minutes.
Smoke enough Marijuana. Admittedly the pattern on the carpet or wallpaper will be the thing you'll be concentrating on. Maybe the Reggae.

14. How can some people not like reggae?
They've not smoked enough Marijuana.**

Notes:
*An excuse sport is something like Fishing or Cricket. If you were to say:
"I'm off to sit in the sun for the afternoon, drink a few beers, chill and hangout with some pals"
Your partner would go spare. If you say you're off Fishing, or watching cricket they think it's good that you've got a hobby or interest.

**I'm not a big fan of Reggae myself, unless it's the heavy spacey dub stylee.

I realised that I was getting older when I started holding up queues whilst giving the right money to the shop assistant. And taking 3 hours to figure out which coin was which because I needed my specs.

I wish I was joking.

Cha0s - wow, that is a comprehensive reply. I like the idea of excuse sports, I must say. I should have been specific about the vectors - I meant the physics ones. I think the reason I am bothered at all about not getting my head around these things is because without wanting to sound too big-headed, I am actually quite good at a lot of things but not the kind of big maths things. I don't like not being able to do anything (besides sewing/sports). Also, light years, how can time be distance anyway?

porkette - I am looking forward to going long-sighted with age because I am hoping that it will stop me from being short-sighted. Is that what happens?